Final Assignment

Marriage is not an institution that I have always thought I would partake in. Some days I think I would like it, other days, I just can’t see myself being that interested in it. Though I know it serves an important purpose in society and in the lives of many people. Marriage commits people in a secure relationship and creates an environment conducive to raising healthy children. I think that if I grew up in a society that did not funnel us into the institution of marriage, I would be completely sure I that I would not want to commit my life to a single partner in such a concrete way. I just feel that when you care about someone and know they care about you, there shouldn’t be uncertainty or jealousy. I care about my ex-boyfriend, who I only broke up with because I left for college, and even though he has a girlfriend, I know he still cares about me. That kind of affection doesn’t go away when the status of your relationship changes, or when they find another person they adore being around. This seems to be my own ideas and not due to the structure of society. But we have also learned that marriage and relationships in modern times have been more focused around love then economic stability or family wishes. This emphasis on romantic love as being the main factor that holds relationships together seems to align with my romantic ideas pretty well. So it is possible I have rejected marriage but not the ideals society have instilled about it.

I don’t know about finding someone to marry, but I know a few of the characteristics I want in a lover/boyfriend. I would like them to be Hispanic so I can learn to cook from his mother and because I want dark skinned babies, if I end up having kids. This goes against the structure of marrying within your racial group. And though I don’t have an opinion about the SES of my future partners, it is likely he will be in the same economic group as me. This is because all my friends and acquaintances are from the same middle class SES as me. This is an aspect of structure that will probably influence my relationship choice.

If I were to have children with a committed boyfriend/spouse, I would probably be more likely to raise children based on the structure society encourages along with compromising with him on his ideas about child rearing. I would also probably raise my children very similar to how my parents raise me, by spanking them as a constructive disciplinary tool and being an attachment parent. I also don’t know enough about parenting to make a choice much different then the way I was raised. I would have between 2 and 4 kids because that is the kind of family I grew up in and I love my big extended family. This whole area of my hypothetical life is determined by the structure I was brought up in and not much agency of my own independent choices. I am not likely to divorced because I probably won’t be married, but since my parents are still together and so are their adult friends I grew up around, the statistics are in my favor to stay in a committed relationship. In high school I was too young, in college I was focused on school, and once I graduate I will be transient; once I am finally in a place where I can be in a committed relationship, I will probably stick with the first person I find who I really adore.

I have little trouble staying with people who I begin relationships with because I an really easy going and I don’t have romantic feelings for people very often, so once I realize I really like someone, I will adore them for the rest of my life. I still care a lot about my past boyfriends or flings because the personality traits they have that I enjoyed while we were together are still there even when we have broken up or are no longer living in the same city. So love is the most important thing along with respect and courtesy for each other in a romantic relationship. When you love someone you want what is absolutely best for them, regardless of what you want. That is how to keep a relationship healthy and both parties happy. But a way to remain satisfied in the relationship is to make sure you are not relying solely on the other for your happiness. No one  person can fill every void and give you as much attention/love you want. So when both people understand they deeply care about each other but can also care about others, hang with friends, and have separate hobbies, they can be the icing on each other’s lives and not have to be the whole cake too.

Random, yet sociologically relevant

This is probably a really weird topic to write about, but I had been thinking about it yesterday and with my and my sociology brain, everything seems to lead back to it. I was thinking about bodily noises, like sneezing or burping, and their varying levels of social acceptance. There seems to be a correlation between how able you are to prevent your body from making the noise, and how stigmatized the noise is. For example, sneezing is totally acceptable to do in class, it is also next to impossible to stop yourself from sneezing. On the other hand, it is not acceptable to fart in class, you also have a bit more control over that bodily noise. It seems that as our society evolved, it stigmatized certain things because of your ability to prevent them, but others, like hiccups, which you can’t help, were never able to be stigmatized.

So what I am curious about, is if you could prevent a bodily noise, like stopping your stomach from growling, would it then be considered rude for your stomach to growl? Is our society opposed to functions of our body that we can hear but not see, but unable to stigmatize them all? Do you think if we could stop all our bodily noises, that they all would no longer be socially acceptable?

Polyandry

The discussion on polyandry was super interesting on friday. I think alternative lifestyles are fascinating and I love to learn about them and discuss them with others. The fact that most people are only comfortable with monogamy is easily explained by the social climate we live in. There are few, if no social structures encouraging other forms of relationships then monogamy. I am not interesting in which is right or wrong. I think that there are so many different kinds of people in the world, that many different lifestyles occur. I am merely interested in how polyandry functions and about the people who make it work.

I read blogs about people who live in these types of relationships in order to better understand their point of view and how they are making their lives work. The part that is not surprising is that they have multiple friends who live the same kind of lifestyle they do. They all learn from each other and as a consequence, are educated by each other on how to best live this type of lifestyle. There is an absence of social structure in our country to help them live their life in a healthy way, so they just have to learn by trial and error or though the experience of others.

Siblings and Pecking

The Pecking Order Discussion

I thought it was really interesting to have all of the stereotypical attributes for each child in the birth order written up on the board. It helped me to see clearly each group of characteristics and as we talked about what experiences could cause those sets of traits, I could really understand what happens to make each child a certain way.

The oldest child is a perfectionist, responsible, a good example, and hard-working. This is because they are put in a position where they are looked up to by their siblings and much rise to the occasion of good example. This good example goes for study habits, organization, and most aspect of their life. Then the middle child, who is a loner, confused about their role in the family, and a mediator. They will know their siblings who are older and younger better then the older and younger will know each other. Being put in between makes it simple to see why they are the mediator, when they are close to the age of the other two children and therefore have an easier time understanding both points of view. But also, this leaves them without as much of a solidified role in the family and because of the uncertainty they tend to withdraw and become more of a loner then someone fighting for attention. Lastly, the youngest child is usually funny, a people pleaser, rebellious, and spoiled. This is because parents have become more lax with rules, meaning the child can rebel with less consequences. But also, they get lots of attention when they are young and continue to crave it as they grow older. So they learn to make people laugh and please others to get that attention.

Overall, making those lists helped me to see each personality more clearly and helped me to determine the roots of these sibling differences.

Moms and Babies

I loved the panel on Monday. I thought it was super interesting to hear an account of the birthing process, breast feeding, and child rearing habits. I liked how it was not all sugar coated, they talked about real problems they had with the hospital system and what they would do differently next time. I had no idea you could hire a helper for when you go into labor…though I can’t remember what they were called in class.

I was on the phone with my mom later that day, a little too excited about what I had learned about breast feeding in class that day. But the fact that the chemical makeup of the breast milk changes as your baby grows blows my mind. The human body is so remarkable. I thought the differences in percentages of women who breast feed till their baby was a year old when it is recommended to breast feed for that long was shocking. But in our current culture, breast feeding is viewed as weird or negative. Though it used to be a normal thing, and women would  do it in public and it would not be a big deal. I am interested to see, with the green environmental and organic/natural movements encouraging saving of resources and the damages of hormones/chemicals, if the pendulum will swing back to accepting public breast feeding or a lengthened period of breast feeding.

Emerging Adulthood!

Emerging adulthood is a time for exploration and personal growth. The characteristics of this phase involves a lot of fluidity and uncertainty. It is common for there to be a changing relationship with parents, a reevaluation of the religion they grew up with, and the semi-transient life of a college student who moves every year till they graduate. Nothing is set in stone for emerging adults, whether that be in relation to a significant other or their career choice. Marriage and other factors that cause one to stay in one place are far off and once they reach a place where they are settled down with a spouse and steady career, that is when it is thought that they become an adult.

The concept of narrative is the idea that each step of the process of growing up is planned out by the individual and that certain social structures shape this plan. Someone who lives in America probably has a narrative of graduating high school, going to college, getting a good job and getting married. Then having kids, retiring, and traveling the world last. With this narrative being the norm, there are many things in society pushing us all along that route, or one similar to it. There is financial aid and scholarships to help people go to college, there are social expectations on people to settle down, and there are tax breaks for married people and even more for those who have children.

The first thing I learned in Sociology Class…

…that lower income people have a way lower chance of going to college and getting themselves out of a low income situation. Despite super ambition and charisma, the numbers show that most people are stuck there. If your family doesn’t have much money, you probably can’t afford college, and if you could, you would have to work while you were there, which may hurt your grades. It is a super depressing realization. It makes people with money seem much more privileged then the lower income group. I was kind of hoping we wouldn’t talk about this in class cause its a touchy subject for me. I feel bad that I did not have to struggle or really work that hard to get to baylor. I mean, I did my homework and studied in high school, but it wasn’t that difficult when decent grades were the norm in my house. I was always expected to go to college. It was not like I was choosing what to do after I got out of high school. My parents have good credit, so even though they can’t afford Baylor, they can co-sign my loans for me. That simple fact has kept more then one of my friends from a Baylor education. I just commend those people who had a difficult time getting here, and all I can do it make the best of the gifts I have been given and to try to make a positive impact on the world.

The Feminine Mystique- explore 5

From what I took away from the first chapter of The Feminine Mystique, the definition of this from the 50′s seems to be the happy housewife with children to care for and a husband to make the money for the family. It was feminine and glamorous and encouraged for women to get married and have babies. They were told that that lifestyle would bring them happiness and fulfillment. This is easy to see in the Mad Men episode we watched in class, because the wives don’t have jobs and have perfect looking children and houses. It also shows with their surprise with the divorcée moving into the neighborhood.

The broader cultural significance of this phenomenon included an increase in the birth rate, a drop in the divorce rate, and an increase in the number of women dropping out of college to get married. Even though it is not as emphasized for women today, I think the Feminine Mystique still effects people today. Many women feel they won’t be happy without a husband and family. But now, they also want a degree and a career. Which puts women in a tight spot. Trying to be super successful at everything isn’t easy.

Strip Clubs?

Haha, I thought it was so interesting to have that discussion about strip clubs. It was enlightening to hear what other people thought about them and also to hear their reactions to contrasting opinions. I don’t think any one changed their opinion about how they feel about them, but one thing we did not discuss was why they are such a cultural icon of sorts. They are almost a rite of passage for some men and a source of frustration for some women.

I read an interesting article a while back on a blog written by a tenured professor at a university somewhere up north. I can’t remember where I read it exactly, but I remember a few points he made in the post. He talked about how men bond differently then women. About how one form of bonding is going to a strip club to do tough manly things together. If someone doesn’t like strip clubs it a bit weird and they will be poked fun at. I don’t recall him final say of if he condoned the practice or not. I just remember him talking about the need for communication between the couple if the man was going to a strip club and also his elaboration on the male culture stressing the importance of being “manly”. Like not showing many emotions, not enjoying “girly” activities, and talking about women and how attractive they are.

Male behavioral norms are definitely an interesting sub-culture to study. There are unwritten rules and certain interaction expectations. If those norms or exceptions are not upheld, one could be cut from a friend group. I think there are similar things in girl groups as well, but the rules are just different.