Blake's Thoughts

Well,  last night i heard that someone i knew and used to be close with passed away yesterday afternoon.  The man who died was my x-girlfriends father.  I got to know him well when i was dating her.  For at least two years.  Here is an article about his passing  http://www.corsicanadailysun.com/local/local_story_282225721.html

His passing upset me more then i excepted.  He was in his early fifties and had beautiful wife and three kids.  Two daughter, one just got married and the other is in grad school.  He also had a son who was still in high school.   He and his wife were also in the process of adopting two kids from China. (please keep this whole family in your prayers, this has to be really hard) This man was a preacher who effected a lot of lives for the better, even mine.

   When i first heard about this tragedy i thought i might find comfort in Job but all it did was made me get angry at God.  This man was like job, he was righteous and has done more good then most people i know but for some reason God felt it necessary for him to be taken.  

The question to ask is why?  Why him?  Why not me or someone else that waist their life, why was he taken so quick leaving everyone in a shock?

So i then looked at Ecclesiastics and found little help.  It rains or the good and the bad.  Great……still didnt help…..

What makes me so important that im still a live and he isnt?  He was a man of God that fear God as long as i knew him.  I on the other hand am not as strong in God and fall many more times then anyone can expect, yet im alive.

This upset me a lot last night until i was reminded of something outside of scripture.  C.S. Lewis book where he deals with the loss of his wife.  In this book C.S. Lewis screams at God for what he has done saying that he doesn’t understand and how could this happen.  The very same questions i had.  

The only comfort i had was to understand that im not God and dont understand the way his works.  It can be crappy, very much so, but we must move on  and trrryyyyy to trust in God once again.

Tragedy happens, crap happens, death happens, sin exists, suffering sucks and as much as we dont like the answer, life is a mystery that we still dont fully understand and suffering is apart of that mystery