Psycho[logy] craZed Kitty…

I’m sad to say that this class is coming to a close. I would love to come and just talk to Ms. Palmer-Boyes from time to time, when I get the chance. I thank each and everyone in the class for allowing me to hear your input and various ideals about the topics we talked about. It really has been an eye opener to actually hear and see people who are somewhat like me and those who aren’t  to have similar viewpoints at times and very different viewpoints from me at the same. It was a great experience.

I hope everyone’s familial and marriage ideals come true and I hope everyone’s narrative pans out the way they hope.

I’m going to answer questions based on what I’ve learned in my SOC class (marriage and family). But I’ll be answering them based on the sociological history (structure) and my own personal viewpoint (agency).

Why do you want to get married?

This tends to be the common question among E.As during their phase, but taking this class it becomes apparent why. Hisotrically, during the early industrial era ,we would have been married already, with about 4 or 5 kids and a couple of apprentices by now. This would simply be for economic growth. So then, people got married to pull together economic resources and to help the community grow, and rarely for love. Now, in the post industrial era, I will definitely be marrying for love. I would be in hopes that my spouse will also want to marry for love, because we know that that is not the case with everyone. Although, economic factors as well as reproduction will play into getting married, it will not be the sole reason as in the early industrial era.

What is the purpose of marriage?

Through the marriage spectrum – from primal couples, colonial, victorian, then the 20th century – the purpose for getting married has developed. Starting with the primal couples, they had group marriages to reproduce. The colonial families married for economic reasons. Then the victorian era came and the transition started becoming less society based and more personal. Here, they began to think about love and value the fact that marriage would be something like a refuge from the outside world. During this era, I believe we incorporate all these aspects, and we are not one or the other. I will be getting married in order to have a stable family life and build a family of my own; which is not an uncommon reason now a days.

Who (what kind of person) are you likely to marry?

Prior to the Victorian Era, we would see a large gap in the age between spouses, because they weren’t marrying for romantics. Again during the Victorian Era, the ideal of marriage and family changed from what it was before. This is where we started seeing a more hands on approach from women and a more selective process with courting. In a sense, it was a bid on the women so those who were able to wine and dine the young lady was a more successful candidate. Those men were sometimes clue to the women ages, but that depended on if they had old or new money. Now, based on our selection pool, we have a smaller selection of mates while being in college. When we go into the work force we will have an even smaller selection. We are also most likely to marry someone more compatible with our own views about life and have somewhat the same passions.

What kind of family structure do you expect to have?  How many children?

Although the nuclear family structure is not the most common during this era, I would to have a nuclear family – complete with me being the mother, raising my children (preferably 2) with my husband. However, in this era, cohabitation is the more stable family structure that is prevalent. This can turn one of both ways – they can fall apart or develop into a married couple. In the past, most families were nuclear, with multiple children to help take care of the farm, but in the Victorian Era, families were still nuclear, but with less children – 1 or 2. I want to have my nuclear family with 2 children, for selfish reasons. I didn’t grow up with my biological father around nor did I have a sibling until I was a teenager. I want my children to be close in age and I want to have them after I’m married for a couple years.This ideal probably was inspired not only my life’s experiences, but by seeing what works and does not work from the past.

How will your family compare with the family you have come out of?  (e.g. if your parents divorced, how will this affect your chances of divorce)

Statistically, people who grow up in a certain family structure are more likely to mimic that lifestyle in their own life. I do not know the percentage, but I do know that it is a significant figure. And I have seen this come to fruition in many people’s lives, but I will not be a statistic. I plan to be opposite in every aspect of my family origin. Most of my family members are divorced or not married and have multiple children’s fathers. Not to put my family down, but I don’t want that life.

How likely are you to divorce?

Without this class, I would still think that the divorce rate was high, but in reality it has become a plateau. Yes, the rate raised since the 1950s, but that is the effect of the various revolutions and freedoms women have access to. Before, women were not allowed to divorce or they simply left and it was not spoken of. The likelihood of divorce in this era is more common than in the 1950s. I think I am not going to divorce regardless of if it is statistically shown that my chances are higher due to my family background. That’s not an immediate option.

How important is love in the context of the stability of your future romantic relationships/marriage?

Love is the major factor for me, but I understand that this has not always been the case with respect to the primal and colonial eras. I think with love, people can withstand much more if they know that that significant other loves them without doubt. I think, the greatest amount of love can help fix any issue the marriage happens to get into. Like I learned in my Family theories class, with ample communication and specified boundaries, the stability of the marriage will continue to make it successful.

Assuming this a general goal of long-term relationships, how will you remain satisfied in your relationship/marriage across the marital life cycle?

As we saw with the Feminine Mystique & Chore Wars, satisfaction and appreciation went hand in hand. They also were big issues that often each partner had a different idea about. I learned that this can be dealt with simply by encouraging each other and helping out when one sees the other needs it. I hope to live this way, and I will be looking for a spouse who wants to live the same way. I think this is something that I have witnessed as well as learned in class about. And of course, I’m the one who wants to travel a different path than what I’ve witnessed.

Ok so as my sister and I were studying for finals these past couple of days, we have been discussing some of the topics she’s been going over in her intimacy and gender class. One question she asked me was, “if my husband cheated, would I forgive him?”

So, I answered honestly, I simply said no.

She looked at me sort of weirdly, and I asked her for her answer.

She told me that she would forgive him but only the first time. That made since so I thought about it. This would be my husband, the man of my dreams, and I would be more mature. I would also need to be ready and willing to work through whatever obstacles that come our way.

So in my more mature life (haha) I would say yes. But then I brought up an extreme. I said, what if he cheated and a child was conceived from that one incident. My sister surprised me and said that she would first get mad that he had sex unprotected, but then she would still forgive him. Ok, so this was just mind boggling, because even though my ex and I had been broken up at the time, I still got hurt when I found out that the girl he “talked” to on an off period ended up pregnant. I said that to say this, I don’t think in any maturity state I’m in, I wouldn’t be able to get past that.

Another question she asked me was, “What if God told women the name of the person they would marry?” I thought that was interesting. Until she brought it up, I’d never thought about it. If God told the name of their future spouse to only women, we would do one of two things. Some women would try to find that person by any means necessary, and other women like my sister and I would be happy with just knowing the name, and let him find us.

I thought this was interesting and so I asked her a similar question. I said, “what if God told men the name of their spouse?” Without hesitation she said, guys would do nothing different, they would continue to “play around” because they knew that they would eventually get married. I laughed because I felt the same way.

Then we started thinking about wedding songs and looking up weddings on youtube. There were some pretty creative things, to say the least. We also started talking about how involved we wanted our husbands to be in the planning and implementation process of the wedding.

My question: is this simply a girl thing? Or do men think of their future wives or the wedding processes?

Well, I forgot to tell everyone Happy Thanksgiving!

I actually got to go home for a couple of days before working Black Friday. It was quite entertaining. All my little cousins were there. Because I’ve been in Waco for most of their lives (or they’ve been in Louisiana) I thought they wouldn’t remember me, but f course they remembered me!!! I was quite excited, especially since the last time I had seen one baby cousin, she was mean to me. This time she didn’t want to put her down! Also, my most recent baby cousin, Kennedy, who was born the day before my birthday, was very welcoming. I hadn’t seen her since then.

If you would have asked me a year ago if I was going home for the holidays, I would’ve said no. My reason? Because I have to work: which is true.But another reason was because I thought my family was too crazy! Now, I’m thankful for the craziness. This break was quite hectic, but I had fun and I missed my family so much! Shh, don’t tell them that. They may try to get me to stay close by.

Another reason why I’m thankful for my family is because they tell the truth, no matter in what situation or whether you want to hear it or not. One of my cousins brought that to my attention. He said, “Let me run this by you before I make an announcement. I know, out of anybody, you’d tell me if it’s a stupid idea or not.” That made my heart smile.

I’m also thankful for my family because we all look out for each other. There are so many of my family members taking care of another person’s child(ren). Point. Blank. Period. No explanation needed.

I challenge you to take a look at your family and realize your family’s strengths and be thankful for that. Without your family, who would you be?

Happy belated Thanksgiving!

After listening to an interview with sociologist Dalton Conley, who has written the book, The Pecking Order, I’ve come to look at my family in a different light. Here’s the link to the interview: The Family Pecking Order

Conley says that there is not one single factor that contributes to the differences among siblings.He also states that having disparity within the family is the norm.

Distribution of Resources

Conley says the portion of resources are cut into pieces determining how many children are in the household. The resources are not even and the siblings are competing for them. He also states that more wealthy families will have less disparity among siblings, than a less fortunate family.

In my family I vaguely see this. I know being a single child of a single parent for the first 14 years of my life all the resources were spent on me. When my mother married and when my brother was born, it went to him and making sure the family was taking care of. I feel like I got the brunt of things, but I see it’s changed now. Before, my mommy being the eldest, she was (still is) the more successful SES-wise of our family and so I was well taken care of, but my stepdad’s family is more successful SES-wise than our family so my brother is well taken care of. Now that I’m in college, the little financial extras my parents do have they try to help me with tuition or car troubles, and my mommy’s made it clear that when my brother comes to age, his paternal side of the family will help out. However, he is not lacking in anything: sports teams, video games, education, and toys. He is living the life as I did when I was his age: with support from family, but with the support of a two parent household.

Family Size

Conley says this has an affect on the other issues like resources and birth order. The multiple sibling household (more than two) have more of a disparity between siblings than a two sibling household.

I can only speak on my two sibling household. I don’t we have any disparity between us. However, he hangs out with our boy cousins that are 15 and 12. I don’t think there is disparity between them either, though.

Number of Years Between Children

Conley says there is usually (in a large household) a large gap between the second to last born and the last born sibling, and the last born sibling is usually the one that is more successful because they are “spoiled” (my own words) by parents and older siblings.

Again, I can only speak on my two sibling household. My brother and I are 14 years apart, and we both have lived our lives as the only child. I feel like we have some of the same resources and have had access to the same lifestyle, except for the times in which we have grown up has changed.

Gender Differences

Conley says that in a traumatic situation, the eldest female, would in turn take on the position as a co-parent. In turn they would falter in some aspect of their life to help the rest of the family.

In a way, I agree with this, but in another, I don’t. I think Conley’s statement is true about women becoming co-parents or taking on a more dominant role. I do this a lot when it comes to my brother. I feel as though they let a lot of things slip because I’m not home anymore and because he has some type of attitude problem. Again, we both have the single child syndrome, but i think his is more  exaggerated because he was once the spoiled baby boy and things were done for him, now he has to do things for himself.

That may be a typical gender thing. Over the years, I’ve noticed that being a female, my mommy and I, often do a lot of the nurturing and taking care of EVERYTHING, while my brother and step-dad just sit there. In a sense, my brother may feel that he should be entitled to this as well.

Obesity:

I don’t think Conley mentioned this, but this is actually something I see in my family. My family is not big on athletics or staying fit, but my brother is a sports player. He has played any and every sport, so he’s really fit for his age. The rest of us, on the other hand are on the plump side. Although, it is not explicated stated in our family value, we do try sometimes to be conscious of our health and if that isn’t working, we do make sure my brother’s is in tact for his talent.

I do see a disparity between our talents though. Because my talents are fine arts related, pretty sure I won’t be able to make a living with it, they are not really invested into it. But my brother has trophies around the house and they make sure that he makes every practice and every game. You can see where I’m going with this.

Impact of Birth Order

Conley says birth order comes with a lot of stereotypes and we have been conditioned to think that it is a major factor. He says, “it doesn’t hold any water.” He also states that in a two person sibling household, birth order doesn’t determine success rates. It does, however come into play in family size.

I know for a fact that my brother and I have the single child mentality when we are with the parents alone. However, when we are together, I am more of a parent to him than a sibling. He made that clear today that he doesn’t like it, but I told him that if he didn’t act like he does then I wouldn’t have to act like I do. That was the end of that. My brother also has the youngest child syndrome when he’s around the other boys, but then it changes when he is around the babies of the family. In a sense, I think that is the lifestyle of a single child: having the ability to be a chameleon when needed, or wanted, because I do the same thing – until it gets annoying.

Race

Conley says normally, this is something that usually varies across families, but in reality this occurs within families, as well. Especially Black families (in the US). He speaks on a thing called Pigmentocracy, where there is a discrimination between lighter and darker skinned siblings. He states that lighter skinned siblings have an advantage, as to mimic the outside world. 

In my family, I don’t think this is a factor. We have all shades of brown in our family. My brother and I are near the same shade, but we have cousins that are darker than us, and quite lighter than us, as well. None of us get more or less opportunities than the other. We all are treated fairly according to our ages. This factor may be an issue for others but not for my family.

I have on the other hand, heard about African families where lighter skinned family members are called beautiful and brown or dark brown skinned family members are just over looked. Whenever I hear that, I just cringe because we as Minorities have enough to deal with as it is, we don’t need to add internal segregation to the list.

Fit of Genetics & Environment

Conley says its an example of nature versus nurture. Where one sibling’s fit could receive all the resources and the other sibling(s) don’t get them.

I agree with this, like I said before, I think my brother gets a lot of resources put into his talent, but because I’m in school in another city, that is my priority and my talent doesn’t get any attention. But, when I was in high school, I will say that my talents were recognized. I just think that it’s his time to be in the spotlight, I’ve been there, done that.

UGH!

I just got so annoyed. What is it with people at this school, teachers and students alike.

Okay, the first incident happened, back during Parents Weekend, when our National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC) garden was still under construction and  preparing for its grand opening. I’m tired so I put my head down on the desk. The next thing I know, my teacher is saying, “What’s the deal with all this construction? Whatever they’re building is unnecessary and they got rid of my parking space. Does anyone know what that is for anyway?” I pop my head up and state that what they’re building is a garden for National Pan-Hellenic Council Greeks, black fraternities and sororities, to have a place where they can gather with Alumni, and so we can say that we are here on this campus. Quite like the Pan Hellenic sororities have the Stacy Riddle Building, we have our Garden. All he could say to that was, “oh, well I don’t like it, they  got rid of my parking spot,” and changed the subject.

What I really wanted to say was, dude your an HP Teacher, really?! Do you really think that your parking spot really mattered? Can you not see that it may not mean something to you, but it means something to another person?! That’s just like me saying, “Oh golf, why is this even allowed to be a sport, I don’t like it, it’s making me walk too, much.” – A superficial reason to talk down on something although you have no knowledge about it.

Today, I come in class the same way, put my head down and wait for class to start. This time, he’s babbling about New Orleans, how they bury people, and how its so “interesting to say the least.” One thing got to me, as he was talking about how there are graves where “people are placed in bags and just buried on top of each other and they just let the bones go back into the water system…” one girl asked, so people drink the water? He replied yes, then a guy replied, “imma pour some out for my homies,” and my teacher replied, “yea, literally.” I popped my head up and stated, “you know, I’m from Louisiana” just to make my presence known that there is someone in here that you could be offending.

Im just like, really?! Is it that hard to believe that bones become dirt, that mixes in with soil, that often gets swept up by the water system that in turn go through a filtering system and becomes the water that you drink. I mean it’s not just New Orleans that that happens to. ALSO, that a body bag burial, is called a green funeral, or maybe because New Orleans does have such a high crime rate, its more convenient to have burials that way. What really pissed me off was not the information he gave (because he had gone to a cemetery visit in New Orleans, for whatever reason), but the way he chose to give it. I mean, there is a difference between giving straight facts and making information sound worse than it really is.

Then my teacher wants to start talking about the 504 Boys, Lil Wayne, Juvenile, Master P, and other rappers from Louisiana. I asked him how he knows all this stuff, he just replies, “I don’t know.” What is the point in talking about this? What relevance do these artists have to do with golf? In my mind, I’m thinking, this man is just spitting off random facts that show that he has some kind of “street cred” and that he knows about all of this. I could care less. All I want to do is tell him to shut up, and that none of what you’re saying is important or funny. My teacher is actually condoning the stupidity and immaturity, because that student that said he was gonna pour some out for his homies, is standing next to the teacher chiming in about certain songs, who he’d like to see back in action, and who’s brother is whom, and Romeo is Master P’s son, and blah blah blah. Laughing. If his purpose was to show me that he was cool and knowledgable about the N.O music business, it failed horribly. It only showed me that he’s ignorant and immature.

I feel like far too often, people here at Baylor, just think they can say any and everything that comes to their mind, regardless, if it offends someone or not. They don’t take in account that the people in that very room that they’ve made the statement in could be from a certain background or come from a certain culture that they may be talking down on. In this case, although I’m not from New Orleans, I’m still from Louisiana, and it offends me to have a part of MY state portrayed in a negative light or portrayed as though it’s just unheard of to do some things we do. Yes, I agree that some practices in the N.O are different, but it’s a different culture down there.

I also think that people here at Baylor think that after you offend someone, its okay to just try to make it up to that person, by trying to find a common ground with that person. What?! Just apologize and keep it moving. For me, I feel like you not acknowledging that you may have made a mistake and building onto that with horrible references to what you think I may like, is adding salt to the wounds. It’s like first you insult me, then you further judge the kind of person I am by assuming and trying to make common ground. To me, that doesn’t make sense. Again, apologize and keep it moving. It’s simple.

It annoys me to think that the supposedly “educated” people here at Baylor will go out into the world one day, with this same mentality that they came in here with. No, everyone is NOT the same. No, everyone did NOT come from a suburban neighborhood with a mom and dad, 2.5 kids, a golden retriever, and 3 story mansion with a white picket fence! Please, get it through your heads…we are not all the same. You NEVER know what someone’s background is. You NEVER know who you’re offending at any given time.

That was my 8am class. Now, my day will be filled with moments of waiting – waiting for another “educated” person to make an ignorant statement. Im sure to get another outburst from somebody.

I’ve been noticing that most of our class was shocked at the information that the women on this panel were giving us. Especially about the pain and different aspects of the labor. Don’t get me wrong, I was paying close attention to what the 3 women were saying, but I was more shocked that being our age, our class was not very informative about some of these thing. I laughed when the class gasped and mumbled when the panel were talking about how long labor lasted. I don’t know if the fact that I was interested in this subject and have thought about all of this before, or maybe because I watched (used to watch..I have no TV) baby delivery and birth day on TLC  played a factor in my realistic view on this, not. I was amused with class on Wednesday because I was once again reminded that not everyone thinks like me, or maybe I don’t think like everybody else.

It was cool to actually get stats about C-Sections and complications with pregnancies, as well as getting to know about the insurance information. Like I said before, I have thought about the before, so I’m going to make sure my insurance covers any type of delivery I want to endure. Previous to obtaining this information I wanted to have a home birth, in a kiddy pool or tub, with my husband, mother, and midwife, and breast feed. I may have to reconsider or just when that time comes dissect all the possibilities.

After reading the article, Should Babies Co-Sleep With Their Parents?, I think this is a safe statement to make: It depends on the type of sleeper you are. Like the article states, the definition of co-sleeping should also be more defined. When I think of co-sleeping, I think of sharing a bed, rather than sharing a room. My take on this is, if you are a hard sleeper and know that you would not be able to feel or hear a baby that is sleeping right next to you, then maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t share a bed with the infant. I know from experience with sleeping around or with other people, that I wake up fairly easily if someone next to me is moving or making a noise. Especially something as precious and fragile as an infant.

On the other hand, if you are a light sleeper, and its one of those days that you are dead tired, then maybe that is not the night to share a bed. I think if a person realizes all the benefits of co-sleeping, but can’t handle bed sharing then the next best thing is room sharing. The article made a good point as to what types of activity infants and parents alike can benefit from co-sleeping. I think with both room and bed sharing these can be done. Just from my experience with babysitting infants alone, I know that when that faithful day comes for me to become a parent I will use co-sleeping in the form of bed sharing.

I don’t think that the mere fact of co-sleeping is the cause for infant mortality. Many factors play into that role, one of whom is the fact that people are unaware of natural instincts that would better serve in their position rather than listening to researchers reports. Like the article states, its our “evolutionary heritage,” meaning we’ve been doing it since the beginning of time.

I’ve just finished Phase Two of my Genogram Project for my Theories of Family Development class. What a chore!!! Phase One, a Family Chronology, a 100 item list that chronicles major life events of four generations in chronological order. Phase Two, a Genogram Chart that identifies at least 2 family processes/themes, as well as 5 relationship lines within or between generations.Lastly Phase Three will be 2 papers, a Family Analysis(5-7 pgs.) and a Reflection (2 pgs.).

To say the least, I am over joyed that I’m almost complete. Sadly this major project is only worth 38% of my grade. Not a major point in this blog, but a sickening fact. The major point in this blog is that being an emerging adult where you are mostly focusing on yourself and your future it is extremely hard to try to connect with distant family members only to ask them about their marriage, their kids, their deepest darkest secrets, and who they are close to or have conflict with in the family. Albeit, they are excited to hear from you, they may NOT answer the phone.

I had so much trouble getting information. I was extremely frustrated that out of my whole family, I managed to ask 7 people about the rest of the family. I partially blame myself. I find it extremely awkward to try to call people, one who I don’t have their numbers, as well as try to be all friendly just to get in their information. Especially if I haven’t talked to them since I lived in Louisiana (age 7). This is where I relied on my mommy. She was my access point between a lot of older family members that I was uncomfortable with.

Would this classify me as still an emerging adult?

I clearly see myself as an adult, but somethings I’m just not comfy with. This was one of those things. I think just because I relied on my mommy to help me obtain information, I can still be an adult. I mean, adults still get advice from parents every now and then, they just don’t have to solely adhere to them if it is not beneficial to them…Right?

What are your ideas?

the E.A. & it’s characteristics:

An E.A. is an Emerging Adult. A mid-20 year old who has not fully been accepted into the role of an adult, but who is clearly older than an adolescent. Something lie that awkward age of being a pre-teen, the E.A. is also in a n in-between stage in their life. Arnett, author of the book Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens through the Twenties, outline 3 criteria for an adult – accept responsibility for yourself, make independent decisions, and become financially independent. Due to the nature of these criteria, an E.A. is only partially responsible for their self (in the sense that they cannot fully cover themselves on their own insurance plan), partially able to make independent decisions (they still consult their parents for guidance), and only partially are finical dependent (their parents’ income still has some type of influence in their lives).

An E.A. is most definitely unstable. Arnett classifies this as the AGE OF INSTABILITY. He gives the example of how often an E.A. moves around. Personally, of my 5 years here at Baylor, I have moved a number of 5 times. Each year, I find somewhere new to live. I could have very well stayed in the last place I moved from, but I wanted a change. And each time is a struggle to move as well as find a new place, but it always works out. Arnett says instability and exploration go hand in hand. I agree, I have moved 3 of the 5 times, because I need to be close to Baylor and I need to experience new roommates to see what and who well with me. Needless to say, I have found that I work best with myself.

Arnett also says this is the SELF FOCUSED AGE. Again, I agree. All me decisions I have made to do or not do is totally focused on what I think is best for me and my future. All that do is so that I can become a better person and so that I can ensure a better future for myself. The old saying, “if you don’t look out for yourself, who will?” is really meant for an E.A. During this period in time, while we are gradually building our independence from our parents and beginning to grow our own families and careers, we should focus on ourselves and what’s beneficial for us in the long run.

the Narrative:

This is the tentative plan that we have for our lives. In class, we discussed this in detail. To my conclusion, we all have the same narrative for our life – graduation from high school, go to college, graduate from college, fall in love, start a career, marry, have children, and live happily ever after. Like I said before, this is a tentative schedule. This is what is typically socially acceptable to what we should be doing and how our lives show flow.

the Interaction between Cultural Narrative & the E.A:

I think that the fact that the narrative is a social schedule of how our lives should flow, adds additional stress to the process of becoming adults. I think in this time of our lives, we have to figure out what we want in our lives career wise, love wise, and family wise, and if society says that by this certain age we should start having kids or by this certain age we should be married, we began to think of ourselves as a failure. Also, there is a double standard for women and for men as an E.A. If men are not engaged or married by the time they start their careers, then it’s not  such a big ordeal, however, if a woman does not have a significant other that isn’t on the verge of getting engaged if not married already, they are often rushed to start looking for that significant other.

the Areas of an E.A:

Relationship with the ‘rents - in this time period, the relationship becomes more friendly and the parents are more accepting and willing to let you make your own mistakes. Like my mommy. I often go to my mommy for advice, but as I we talk, se barely says anything other to ask questions to help me come up with my own decisions. Before, we would have never had a civilized conversation unless it was about something I needed. It is as if we a near equals. Also, I’ve been noticing that before I came to college, there were family issues that I never knew about or would never know and later find out about it from another family member. Now, I don’t have to ask my mommy what’s going on with the family, as soon as something important happens or something that she thinks that I would need to know, she will call to tell me or text starting off with “I thought you would just want to know that…” I think that in those instances, she sees me more like an adult than a child or adolescent.

Work – During this time in our lives, we move from job to job searching for what best fits us. I know, in my time here I have had 5 jobs; 3 of whom were work study jobs on campus, but none the less, that explorations factor coming into play. Before, in high school, I just got a job to help pay my own gas, to buy clothes I wanted to wear, or just to have spending money. To be honest, I got my last job to pay rent and for school, but I was more selective in what I did. I didn’t just go in there thinking, what ever they give me is going to work. I actually put forth more effort and thought into what would have a much better effect on my life and what I could survive on.

Religion – As we learned in class, this time is the most unreligious time in our lives. This is where we began to find ourselves and experience and have more opportunity to experience different religions that we may have not come in contact with back with our families. As an adolescent, we go where our parents go, we may every once in a while attend church with a friend, but for the most part, we are exposed to one. Being an E.A. we are privy to choose whether we want to attend a service at all, what type of service, and if we want to partake in the activities provided. This of freedom of choose plays a big role in most of everything we do as an E.A.

Love & Sex – Once again, the freedom of choice plays a big role in this area. In this time, we have the choose to love and sex whomever, whenever, and who many ever we choose. Although there is a double standard also, it is not uncommon for both men and women to partake in the freedom of love and sex. Most E.A also move from relationship to relationship like jobs in order to see what fits for them. It is a smart process I think to date many, but not to sex many. (i’m just saying!) That way, we are fully aware of our likes and dislikes when we finally find that right one. Which is in our narrative, believe it or not!

I think that all these areas and the exploration that we do to find ourselves within these areas help us become adults.