Two Birds of A Feather

The biggest thing I have learned throughout this Soc Marriage & Family course is that I am way more influenced in my decision making than I ever could have imagined….I am starting to wonder if I do anything simply because it will make me happy or if I just do things because it is what is most commonly accepted among the society I live in, the friends that surround me, and the family who I love so much. My beliefs are now being challenged by myself–I need to figure out why I truly believe something, or truly want something, and WHY. And I won’t accept anything that has to do with society. I’m sick of that reason.

The first thing that really caught my attention this semester was when we discussed marriage and why people want to get married. My initial reasons and responses were none other than the ever so popular “It’s just what I am suppose to do….right?” Wrong. I now think that the most influential reason for wanting to get married is because of the religion I was brought up in and the respect I feel like I owe my parents–and I am for sure not against getting married. Though I don’t think a contract and a ring mean diddly squat in this day, I do think that there is something about being “united” and making it “legal” that helps contribute to one’s feeling of belonging to the other. I know that right now I do not feel that I “belong” to my boyfriend–I think that marriage helps two become one–it’s what God intended for us to be, and so that now is my reason. I think this spills over into the purpose of marriage (from my perspective, anyway) because I believe that marriage helps two unite into one and gives people a sense that the other person is YOUR other person and no one else’s (well, we can always hope). If you had asked me to list qualities about someone who I am most likely to marry, I wold have told you the regular girl stuff–good personality, sense of humor, caring, trustworthy, loyal, so on and so on. Now, I would tell you that I am most likely going to marry someone who grew up in the same SES, shares the same morals and values, and proably someone who lives near me–See Ashley, I have learned a lot!!
I think something I have yet to touch on is what love has to do, from my perspective on a marriage…Though I do not think a passionate love is the only ingredient to a successful (and by successful I mean HAPPY) marriage, I do think that it is very important. I think that when you have an unconditional love for someone you are more likely going to put more work and effort into a relationship. I also think that love can heal a lot of wounds. I think it is the best medicine you can have and I think it is the most important pschyological factor in a relationship–to know that someone loves and cares for you and would do anything for you. With that said, I think there are other things that matter in a marriage–I think good communication is a huge factor that doesn’t get the credit is deserves for making a marriage work or breaking a marriage apart. There are other qualities that I think contribute to a happy marriage that lasts, but I do think those two are very important. In order to remain satisfied in my relationship and eventually marriage in my lifetime I think that I need to communicate everything with my spouse and talk about the simple things–like how our day was, etc. I think if I learn how to communicate with my husband early on, I will have a happy marriage throughout my lifetime. I also think that I need to show my husband love all the time–doing daily things for him without being asked, being slow to anger, stopping what I am doing when he needs to talk, being there for him no matter what is going on with myself. And I think that the biggest contribute to a happy and long-lasting relationship/marriage is making God the center of everything you do–both individually and as a couple. “With God all things are possible….”

So I grew up in a family that doesn’t consist of “steps” or “halfs” or anything–a nuclear family…that stayed nuclear. I don’t even have any aunts and/or uncles that are “step”…I really don’t know of anyone in my family that has that title…With that said, I would like to have a nuclear family (of about 3 or 4 kids) that stays together for my entire lifetime (and hopefully beyond that). I realize that is unlikely–but I think it is so important for me to be one family with my own family because honestly, it is all I know. I realize it is all around me and this class has helped me learn that a divorce can work out with kids–though it seems very difficult, it CAN be done. So I simply lack the experience to know what it would be like in a divorced family…And no, that is not my only reason, but it definitely is the main one–I have seen my family stay together and that has worked out wonderfully–all three of us had a wonderful childhood and I continue to have a great relationship with my parents. I think that because I have seen my parents argue, or whatever, and always work through it, I think I am less likely to divorce myself because I have seen how a marriage was intended to be–not easy, but worth it.

I hope everyone has a great Christmas break!

Merry Christmas!

Okay so I believe in letting others live the life they wanna live and it really doesn’t bother me that other people want to live in ways that are totally different from me–make different choices than I do, etc, etc. With that said, I don’t really have anything positive to say about the video we watched about the people in Seattle who participated in multiple sexual relationships with others–from husbands, to “partners,” to boyfriends, I just don’t understand why someone would wanna keep up with that many relationships. I know that I am living in a society where most of my beliefs and thoughts are really pushed upon me more so than chosen, but something way down deep just knows I could never choose to live that lifestyle. I understand the whole “sharing” thing in tribes and groups of people who don’t live in such a materialistic world like we do in America, as well as those who are in a more agriculture lifestyle. But like I said–it’s their life–they can live it how they want to….

One thing the class discussed a lot about is committment. I don’t think this was the right choice of word. I feel like I am committed to my boyfriend, my friends, my parents, my siblings, my boss, so on and so on and so on…All of these committments look different. The committment I have to my boyfriend looks a lot different than the committment I have to my parents, etc. I think a better word is loyalty. I can understand how this word can also work across the board for all these committments but I think in a sense of a relationship it’s different. I am “loyal” to my boyfriend in that I don’t have another relationship with anyone else that looks even similar to the one I have with him. I can see how an argument could be made for being “loyal” to a friend–but I think it’s different. I can’t cheat on my friend–I am loyal to them in that I am a good friend and I am there when they need me, but I think being loyal isn’t really used in connection to friends. It’s kind of like a dog–Man’s bestfriend. They are loyal to their “masters”–this means that if they run off, they come back to their owner (most of the time). Dogs are also loyal in that they stick to the man’s side when walking around–they are also loyal in that they are protective of their owner. I think loyalty is sticking by one’s side–it’s devotion to a person. And yah, I understand that you can be “loyal” to more than one person, but I think for the sake of a serious relationship, you can only truly be loyal to one person.

My personal opinion, if that isn’t obvious, is monogamy. I honestly believe that I was made for only one person.

My impression from both of the articles, “Because Unhappy Divorces Are Not All Alike” by Sarah W. Buttenwieser and “Pursuing Happiness for the Sake of Your Children” by Lara Riscol, was that they are really not in favor of divorce. I think that a healthy, loving marriage is the best situation children in a family can have, but I think that if it gets bad enough a divorce could potentially be healthier for kids than a marriage–just like we talked about in class Monday, releasing the tension in the household. I found it very interesting that both of the articles, particulary the article “Because…” presented situations that were ideal but seemed to me to be pretty much unrealistic in today’s society. Maybe I only know of bad situations and bad divorces, but I thought that the likelihood of being good enough friends to put differences beside their issues in order to all hang out as “one family” was such a far-fetched idea. So idealy speaking, it would be a perfect situation of a divorce and would be great for the children of the family. But seriously, how likely is that?

I do think that these articles would be a very useful tool for those considering, or even going through, a divorce because I thought the articles were very personal, easy to read, and provided many tips on how to make a divorce the best possible for your children. Though the articles’ main purposes were not soley to be an encouragement for divorce, I can see that it would be very helpful.

One last point I wanted to mention about these articles was that the first one, “Because…”, mentioned that it is crucial for a spouse to get out of a marriage if they are being abused–either emotionally or physically. The reason I am mentioning this is because I know that Baptists believe in getting a divorce only if the other is unfaithful. Some of my friends and I had a conversation the other day about whether or not we thought it was acceptable in God’s eyes to get a divorce because of abuse when it isn’t said in the Bible. This is something I struggle with personally in establishing a belief as to whether or not I think it is right (to God). Because honestly, I would tell anyone who was being abused to get out of the relationship, but because it isn’t biblical, it is hard for me to justify it for someone else who may be a Christian and have the same beliefs I do. Though my friends and I could not decide on whether or not it would be the right thing to do in God’s eyes, we all agreed that it is neccessary to get out of an abusive relationship–even if that means divorce. I can’t see God looking down on us and seeing all the hurt a person would be in, if their spouse was abusive, and not want us to remove ourselves from the situation. But, I don’t know…It’s kind of tricky. Sometimes I wish some parts of the Bible weren’t so gray.

Spacing, or the number of years between children, plays a role in determining the personality traits that can contribute to a child being more successful than another, etc. I think one good example of this would be when one of the girls in our class shared that she had characteristics of the youngest child but when the child above her moved away, she gained charactersitics of a first born. There were enough years between her and her older sibling that gave her time to adjust to the role her older sister probably played in her family. Things like running errands for parents, etc, etc. In a more personal example, my boyfriend’s family includes 4 kids. The age difference between the second child and the third child is about 5 years. The second oldest will graduate in a year and a half, giving the third child 5 years to attatin the “oldest sibling” qualities. Right now a ton of responsibility is put on the second chlid (the first one, my boyfriend, is obviously in college and out of the house) and so all that will shift when she graduates. In my own family situation, there are not many years between each of us, but I do think that my sister will gain a little more of the first born qualities when my brother moves out because my parents will put more responsibilities on her opposed to in the past when the responsibilities were shared between my brother and I because of how close we are in age.

Gender, I think, plays a huge role in my family dynamics. We have two girls–the oldest and youngest, and our brother is the middle child. Before even getting into birth order, as girls, my sister and I both are expected to do a lot more in terms of chores and household duties whereas my dad expects my brother to help him mow the lawn, grill outside, help move heavy furniture, etc, etc. I’m not sure how that specifically plays into sibling order, but I have noticed how much my parents enforce society norms on us in terms of gender….Very traditional might be a nicer way of putting it. In terms of gender, the biggest difference I have seen between me and my brother (the middle) is that they let him get away with a ton more than they would ever let me and they are not as strict with him. For example, 2 years ago my dad let my brother drive home from my grandparents house after just getting his license. I’m now 20 and have never driven back from my grandparents house..ever. Another example would be that they would let him go to the movies or mall or whatever when he was like 13 or 14 by himself with some friends, but wouldn’t let me go by myself until I could drive. I contribute this to gender because my sister is currently 14 and they rarely let her go do something without parents. I think they think because my brother is a male he can protect himself whereas females need others for protection. I’m not sure though.

Thankfully, no one in my immediate family is obese. I also do not know of any close friends who have siblings who are obese–we grew up in a pretty active lifestyle, always playing sports outdoors. All of my fmaily also went to a school where almost everyone is involved in at least one sport, and so the friends we grew up with were always in good shape. With that said, I cannot really say I have ever experienced the differences obese chlidren experience compared to siblings who ar enot obese. However, I can try and make it a parrallel to something that I did grow up with and did experience, myself as well as with other friends and their families. In my family, we are all athletic. But, athleticism is not created equal. I did pretty well in the sports I played in high school and was actually pretty well known for one of the sports I participated in. However, my brother is a stud in football. Colleges have been looking at him since his freshman year and he was getting phone calls and invitations to camps that colleges put on since his sophomore year. He is currently a junior. He will more than likely play football in college, even if it is at a smaller school. My sister, on the other hand, is pretty good at sports but does not have one sport like me and our brother where she just really stands out. She is also a freshman, so I could be speaking too early. With that said, she has turned to cheerleading this past year to kind of set herself apart from us. Or at least that’s what I think. She never cheered or even did gymnastics growing up–something I did, but did not continue to do in Jr. High and High School. So, basically what I am saying is that my brother and I have gotten a lot of attention, particularly from our Dad because we have excelled so much in sports. I think this has bonded us closer to our dad and because of it I feel like we have a closer relationship with our dad that our sister has…But again, she is a freshman–we’ll see!

Another subject that does not affect my family directly is race..Our skin colors are pretty much the same. We all tan easily but are naturally pretty pale–a mixture of our mom and dad sides of the family. Conley said that in black families in America, the siblings who are lighter skin end up better off than darker skin siblings. He also says that blacks have more of disparity among lighter and darker skin than any other family (in terms of race). I think that the differences in skin tones creates inequality among siblings because of how their parents, and the rest of the society, treats them. Because racism still exists, I think that it is still an uneven fight. With that said, I can see where parents and society will give more resources to the lighter skin tone compared to siblings who have darker skin tones. I’m really trying to think of something in my own family where this comes into play but I really cannot think of anything.

I now think that genetics only does so much for a person’s personality. I always thought the situtations you are put in at a young age, and the way you are brought up, and other environmental factors, played a part in determining a person and their personality traits and qualities. However, I never knew the extent to which the mix of both genetics and environment play in who a person becomes–what kind of life a person lives. I now think environmental factors play a huge part in who we become. The impact of the birth order and all the factors that play into birth order is incredible. I think this really molds us into who we become and I think that each one of these factors can greatly influence qualities a person has.

Though it seems like everything in our life was just a chance happening that has made us–and is still making us–into who we will become, I really believe that God designed us to develop the way we are–so unique that there is no one just like us. That’s simply incredible.

So this past week I spent Thanksgiving with my family and we ended up seeing both sides of the family. Anyway, I got to talking with my mom’s parents and I remembered the class discussion we had had one day on racism and how it still exists–how it has evolved. I wanted to know their perspective on it and how it has changed–if it had, anyway. I asked if they look back into their past and regret the way they thought of other races, particularly African American. Both of my grandparents said they don’t regret anything. They said they never thought bad/regretted anything they did, said, or thought of African Americans because it was simply the way of life. They didn’t know anything else. Both of their parents had African American maids. My grandmother even said she was really close to the maid and really liked her. I thought it was interesting that their perspective on AA’s wasn’t that they were necessarily “below” them, but that segregation was just the way it was. Though they did not say it directly, I think that each of them has a different perspective on AA’s, but I don’t know what exactly is different about it.

Just thought I would share that with y’all. Hope y’alls Thanksgiving break was great!

I think in middle school or high school I learned about birth order and the qualities that each tend to portray. I think it was in a leadership class or something, not too sure. But basically I’m saying that because I remember learing about these qualities before. But Wednesday’s class taught me some new things about birth order. One of the main things I learned was how the different birth order tends to succeed in different areas of profession/careers. I mean it makes sense, but I just never connected them. I also really liked hearing from some of the people in our class about how when their older siblings moved out of the house, they began to take on those caracteristics but kept some of the characteristics they already possessed.

Another thing that was very interesting to me was how society and the environment affects these characteristics that we take on. I know for me personally, I am the oldest and I can definitely see how my parents were learning everything with me–I was their guinea pig. Heck, I’m STILL their guinea pig. I say that because they are still learning with me–I am paving the way and figuring things out so that when my brother and sister go through the same events I did (driving, graduation, college, etc, etc, etc.) my parents will be better suited at doing their job and my brother and sister will probably have a better experience than I did. Not saying mine were bad, but I’m sure a few of those things could have gone smoother. But I loved being the oldest growing up. Everything was new to my parents, so they made it probably more special and more extravegant than it needed to be. I’m pretty sure I had better birthday parties and better presents–not to mention I am the first grandchild on my mom’s side of the family! I have a few memories that I want to share because I think they relate to birth order. I remember my mom telling me that she finished my baby book and my brother’s baby book (he is middle child) and that she NEVER finished my sister’s baby book….Poor last born!!! I also remember my mom telling me that when my brother was born after about a week of him being home I asked my mom to return him to the store she got him in because I didn’t like him! I think this shows the “bossy” characteristic as well as just already feeling the attention move from ALL ME to NOT all me… I could go on and on but basically my family is the perfect example of all these characterstics. I’m the Type A, hard working one. My brother is the athlete. And my sister is a mix–she pretty much excels in both school and sports, so we’ll see what she ends up doing!

My roomate has a little girl who is 2 years old. I want to start by saying that because I want to bring another issue up with co-sleeping. My roomate’s daughter has co-slept with my roomate since she was born. She would only take naps in her own bed. Thankfully, nothing has ever happened to the little girl as far as health issues go, but my roomate always says her daughter somehow ends up on top of her in the middle of the night. Here’s the other issue with co-sleeping–my roomate is DREADING moving her daughter to her own bed. I know this isn’t scientific, but it is another issue to consider when thinking about co-sleeping with a child. My roomate fears the fights she will have with her daughter to break this habit she has allowed for so long. And these fears are just of getting her into a bed other than mommy’s, not even to her own room…. When she gets married and moves in with her fiance, they will have enough rooms for their daughter to have her own, so this is going to be a major problem.

On the more scientific side of things, the article by Barbara King, “Should Babies Co-Sleep with Their Parents?” presents a sad case where a baby dies because the mother had fallen asleep during nursing. This was reported as a “co-sleeping accident.” I don’t know the numbers on how many infant deaths occur under this category, but I have actually never heard of this happening, so hopefully this doesn’t happen much.
The article goes on to say that there are benefits to a child and parent co-sleeping, but some of these benefits are also shown in babies who sleep in the same room as their parent– not neccesarily the same bed. For example, breast feeding is proven to be very beneficial for a baby and when the baby sleeps with the mother, it is easier to breast feed throughout the night. However, this should not be limited to co-sleeping with the baby–the baby can sleep almost as close to the mother but in their own crib on the side of the bed. Though there seems to be a link between co-sleeping and a lower risk of SIDS,  there is an ongoing debate about whether or not mothers and babies should co-sleep.

Personally, when I have babies I want them in the same room as me, but I do not ever want them sleeping in the same bed as me. For more than just safety reasons, I think that having them in their own bed a short distance away from my own is the perfect compromise.

I want to start with a brief recap of a story I shared last week. I went out to brunch with my mom and at one point in our conversation she told me that she wanted to call me to remind me of something a few weeks ago but decided against it. She said that I am an adult and I am capable of making my own decisions based off of my own judgement, without help from her or my father. I share this because I think that a huge part of being an adult is others, especially one’s parents, refer to you and think of you as an adult. I hesitated to tell her about how I really wasn’t quite yet an adult but instead am an emerging adult, but decided against it–I really liked being considered an adult by her (and my father) and though I have probably been seen as an adult since I left the house, this is the first time I have heard them call me one…So, I didn’t want to argue and give her a reason to not consider me an adult.

An emerging adult is characterized mainly by age. There are other characteristics, but I feel that a majority of emerging adults portray characteristics that link to the age and time period of life they are in. This is a stage in one’s life that is between adolescence but before adulthood. It usually includes the ages of 18-25. Emerging adulthood centers around these young adults who do not yet have children, do not live in their own home, and do not have an income sufficient enough to be considered fully independent and rely on their self. Though this stage relies on other resources of income and other necessities (usually provided by parents), they also portray a sense of learning to be independent–some have jobs and are paying for some of their needs and make most decisions on their own. They are also living under different roofs than their parents–whether that be in a dorm on a college campus, an apartment, or a house with several roomates. That brings me to another characteristic of emerging adults–this term is more recent in that most of the people who fall under this category are going to college–getting a higher degree.

The concept of narrative in the context of emerging adulthood and sociology is a term that refers to “a form of communication that arranges human activities and event into organized wholes in a way that bestows meaning on the actions and events by specifying their cause-and-effect realizations to the whole (in class definition).”
My narrative goes something like this:
Finish my current undergrad degree (graduate from BU). Go on to grad school, probably also at BU…And then graduating grad school. Get married either right before I am done with grad school or right after, so that I can have a job and contribute to my “family’s” income. Upon graduating grad school, get a job as a Speech Pathologist–somewhere in America. Preferably not Waco. Work for a few years before having children. I then want to stay at home until they are all at least in elementary school (if income of husband permits this). I would then like to go back to work as a Speech Pathologist and continue working until I want to no longer work. I would like to then retire with my husband and travel all over the world–including trips to see those adorable grandkids!

So that’s my narrative of how I would like my life to progress–obviously it’s an ideal situation, who would hope for anything less than ideal?
I think my narrative looks pretty similar to most of those in my age group. I definitely feel that the cultural narrative plays a huge influence on what I have defined as my own. 10 or 20 years ago I probably would not be considering grad school. 60 years ago I would have gone to college and then dropped out to get married and raise a household. Even further back in history I more than likely wouldn’t have even thought about college. It’s so obvious how the culture and “norm” of our society affects the thoughts and decisions we make.  If society didn’t influence me and my family in the way that it does, I probably wouldn’t even be at school right now. I value a lot of other things over my education, but society says to go straight out of high school. If you don’t, you will have a hard time supporting a family–that’s the punishment. Society has placed this huge pressure on my life. I am suppose to define the rest of my life by the choices I make now–what kind of desgree I get, if I get a master’s degree, etc, etc, etc.

Throughout the book, Emerging Adulthood, by Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, there are many  important aspects that contribute to the decisions and experiences emerging adults have.
Like I said earlier, my parents now consider me an adult–and equal.  They see me as a companion vs what they use to view me as–a child they were raising. I think that their opinion that I am an adult is one of the most important steps in becoming an adult. I still consider myself an emerging adult because my parents still have some say in my life–they still help me make important decisions, but I think the difference is that I want their opinion. I now see them as parents who want the best for me–well, I always have–but now that I don’t have to hear their opinions everyday, I want them. I think this goes hand in hand with not living with them anymore–when I lived with them I was around them every day. Now that I am not around them all the time, I enjoy their company more when I am around them and I talk to them often because I want to and am not forced to. I have a much better relationship with them, and I think I am very similar to those of my age–based on the research we did earlier in the semester.

As a girl, I am definitely starting to think about when I will get married, trying to plan out my life, etc (obviously by the attempted narrative) and I think that society has greatly influenced this aspect of lives. “The average marriage age has risen steeply since 1970 for both men and women (Arnett).” This fact is credited to a few different factors. One is that people are placing higher importance on getting an education instead of just going to college to get married and drop out (though women in the BU population seem to still manage to have found a hubby by the time they graduate). Another factor is due to income–because these emerging adults are attaining a degree and parents want them to focus on a degree instead of making enough money to support themselves(so that they can make a lot of money later and parents can stop supporting their offspring). Therefore, most two emerging adults cannot support themselves financially to be part of a marriage, unless their parents pay for them (doubtful). One more reason society has had an influence on what emerging adults think of marriage is that our developed country views marriage on love instead of other factors like a lot of other countries do.  I think this has influenced the age of marriage because we are given more “time” by society norms to seek out “the one.”

Work is another big issue among emerging adults. There are two different issues to this. One is that a lot of emerging adults have to work while in college to help pay for their needs or just to make some extra money so that they can pay for extra things their parents don’t cover. This can be very difficult for emerging adults who are in college to both work and be a full time student. It puts a strain on their time and can be difficult to manage if they did not work in high school. The other side of this, I think, is picking a degree. In this economy, it is important to chose something that will get you a job upon graduation. So, I would say there is a lot of pressure on students to pick not only a degree that is worth time and money but that is also something they enjoy (unless they want to be miserable for the rest of their lives but make a lot of money-I define success differently than most, though).

One other aspect of life that affects emerging adulthood is religious beliefs in values. I think this is so important for this stage in our lives because it is a time to figure out what we really believe and value opposed to being in the shadows of what our parents believed and valued. It is a time to explore and learn about ourselves with the freedom to do so. This opinion stems from the evidence of statistics we discussed in class one day. The percentages showed that during this emerging adulthood period, emerging adults were bulked more in religious views that were in the middle of the extremes– the extreme religious views were conservative and atheist.  The people that placed themselves in these extremes were mainly those of ages where they were past having a family and were settled into a lifestyle that included associating themselves with religion. In class we thought that this fact was mainly influenced by having children. Parents tend to want to raise their children with the same morals and values, and religion gives people a stable resource for guidelines on how to do that.

Overall I really enjoyed this book and I think our class has had some really great discussions on the topics Arnett presents.

The Feminine Mystique: Chapter 1 was the beginning of a book that some credit to be the influence of the second wave of feminism. In this first chapter, author Betty Friedan talks about the unhappiness and a lack of a sense of meaning women in the 1950s are experiencing. Friedan paints a picture of women who were not satisified with being a wife and mother–one who stayed at home, did mostly all the chores, and raised the children. These women in the 1950s became so depressed with their lives that some saught the help of a psychiatrist. This is also portrayed in the episode of Mad Men we watched last Wednesday, where one of the main women in the show–Betty– become so depressed that her hands shake at random times which leads her to see a psychiatrist. I also think that the feminine mystique is illustrated in the episode in mutliple ways depicting the roles of gender. One example that comes to my head right away is when Betty’s husband tells her to go rest or sit down and then goes on to say to let the girl clean the kitchen. I also think this is portrayed through the way men think they know what women want and to the extent as to how men take ownership of the women. The women in Mad Men represent people with no voice. Everything they do goes through their husband, everything has to be “OKed,” everything has to ultimately be the man’s decision. Even the doctor-patient confidentiality isn’t honored during this time period, as portrayed by the episode when Betty goes to see the psychiatrist and her husband calls the same evening to see what the doctor thinks of his wife after only one session. Women are just property.  I think these small incidents represent a broader view of women during this time. I think this episode depicted the daily lives of a few women–how they were treated (like property) and how this affected their emotions and mental state. This phenomenon of the feminine mystique obviously had a major influence on the second wave of feminism and I think that it had a direct affect on the progress of women’s rights in our nation. I think it’s very likely that the feminine mystique still affects women today. For example, most women have jobs today and make half the income, if not more than half, for her family. Yet women go home from work to pick up their “second shift” duties as a wife and mother. I think there are other ways this phenomenon is still around, but I think that this “second shift” is the biggest issue women still face. However, I think their perspectives have changed from wanting more of an identity to maybe wanting less of one–co-worker, wife, mother, friend, etc, etc, etc. That could be completely wrong, but I feel like women who hold jobs outside the home are literally always working–but maybe through work outside the home they have found meaning to add to their lives. However, I personally think that the most meaning you can have is in taking care of your husband and children.

So I had brunch with my wonderful mother and I wanted to point out something she said. So in the first few weeks of this semester, we talked a lot about the emerging adult and how we, as emerging adults, fit into this society. I remember doing the explore activity and research to find that our age tends to place ourselves into the adult category and then on further questioning and thinking realize maybe we don’t yet fit into adulthood. I, too, struggle with this idea of being on my own, paying for mostly everything, but not yet feeling quite like an adult, so I think that I fit well into the emerging adulthood category. Hopefully this term will pick up though, because I don’t want to refer to myself as an “emerging adult” to other people. Anyway ,to get to the point of how this all relates, my mom was telling me about a time she wanted to call me to tell me something but then stopped herself. She said she now thinks of me as an adult–one who can use their own judgement and make bigger decisions without parent’s guidance. It meant a lot to me and I think that I am now one step closer to really being an adult–because my parents consider me one.

Happy Homecoming!